Here’s why positive thinking doesn’t help
Many of my clients come to me because they’re at their wits end that their heads are full of negative thoughts.
They can’t seem to get control of their thoughts and feel exasperated because they’ve tried many things. Often times, they say “I spend so much time and effort trying to do the positive thinking thing, the affirmations thing, the journalling thing and even visualisations but they don’t work!”
Confused, they say “I even meditate to get rid of them. I do all the right things and they’re still there!”
And I agree with them completely, negative thoughts ARE unhelpful. And sometimes they DO dominate and take on a life of their own. And, when we can’t control them, they have very little value, so yes, let’s address them and change them.
My clients are right on the money y’know? They’re looking to improve themselves and they know they won’t get to where they want to be without having a positive mindset. But here’s the thing they DON’T know (and here’s the thing most people don’t know).
Negative thoughts are not the problem. They are the outcome of the problem. They are the symptom of a deeper issue; they’re the result of things going on below the surface.
The truth is: negative thinking is the result of trapped emotions and blocked energy. Emotional blocks are created when an issue is unresolved. Emotional blocks are undischarged energy, still sitting in our systems. The energy is trapped, looking for a way out. That’s why it’s the same thoughts over and over, that’s why it’s the same feelings over and over, that’s why it’s the same pattern over and over – it’s a memory or an event that’s unresolved, undischarged and trapped in the system.
And that’s the reason why positive thinking doesn’t work – positive thinking is the ultimate outcome, it’s not a solution; it can’t be the solution!
Think of it like this:
You’re driving your car when you hear a clunking sound coming from the engine. You’re alarmed but you really want your car to run properly. You don’t want to think your car has a problem, so you really don’t want to hear the sound. The solution? Ignore it. Turn on the radio to drown it out.
But the sound just gets louder, so you wind the window up. And then over time, the sound just gets louder and faster. It’s at that point you decide to address it by focusing on the positive things. Thinking it’s a great idea, you think about the positive attributes of my car as a solution to the clunkiness. And you start looking at all the wonderful parts of the car that you love so much.
“Oh, the colour of my car is wonderful” and “I really love how fast my car goes” and “my car has wonderful air conditioning”…
Essentially, positive thinking ignores the problem and seeks to smother the niggling issue with positivity.
Distract, ignore and smother.
They don’t address the REAL reason, the deeper reason, the negative thoughts are there in the first place.So, how do we get around this? My suggestion is we learn to address our issues at their core, not at their symptoms – we need to dig deeper.
Because positivity will come. Happiness and ease will come. Lightness and flow will come. We just have to eliminate what’s between us and it, first. Eliminate – not distract or smother.
Because, the truth is, a bandaid doesn’t heal. Unblocking the trapped energy and discharging the emotion at it’s roots is what heals.
Every. Single. Time.